Sittin on the Dock of the Bay…

So I’m sitting here in beautiful Oxnard, Ca for memorial weekend, and all that I have done is sit on my ass, eat, and play xbox. I am currently residing in about a five minute walk from the beach. & it’s the kind of beach where nobody goes because the super rich people call it their backyard. 

I guess I’m just really lonely. I spent about the last 5 months feeling lonely because I was not surrounded by the people that I love. So, once I was able to return to my sanctuary I call Visalia, Ca, I was not ready to give it up again for about the next three months. Yet, here I am, in Oxnard wasting a beautiful day indoors. My not-so-distant-past still haunts me. I’m still bruised on the inside, and I need my comforts right now. Right now I have the freedom to do as a please (with limits). I have a house stocked with food chosen by your’s truly, the keys to the tricked out golf cart, the beach within walking distance, the keys to a car, and a wad of cash. Everything that I could have ever dreamt about, yet I still feel the desires to sit in bed and sleep the weekend away until I can return home. The only real desire I have right now is spending time with any one in my life that makes me happy. 

Plus, to contribute to this melancholy state that I am currently in, my GPA dropped, and I am no longer on the Dean’s List. Moreover, the awkward Mr-Know-it-All who has a low self esteem and his brain as his only friend decides to message me and ask me how I did in our biology class. So I would like to dedicate a kinda tangent rant to this guy, because I’m too much of a weenie to say it to his face.

—I already told you to leave me alone. There is no need to tell me that the grades are posted. I have eyes and a functioning brain, that’s why we are in the same biology class in college. Next, do not ask me how I preformed in the class. All you want to know is if I preformed badly so you can give your I’m better and smarter than you speech disguised as a sympathetic better-luck-next-time speech. 

You are not better than me, Mr. So just go away. 

Great, now I’m so angry I don’t even remember why I started writing this post.

Overall, I just miss my home. I miss my true friends, my family and my room. I miss my stinky town that I thought I hated (Just turns out that I hated high school and blamed my town). I am glad that I grew up here. It’s nice to be able to drive and know where I’m going. It’s nice to drive without having to get on the freeway. It’s nice to not live near a freeway. It’s nice to have a 10 minute distance from other towns. It’s nice to have a place to come home to. I love my school, but I love my home so much more. I guess It’s just called growing up.